


Drunken Flirting

by lrhaboggle



Category: Wicked - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Flirty, Funny, Gelphie, Humor, One Shot, Poor Elphaba, Short, crazy Galinda, drunk, drunken, drunken Galinda, flirt, flirty Galinda, flustered Elphaba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 17:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18473488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: Galinda comes home one night, totally wasted, and starts to hit on Elphaba. Once Elphaba manages to get Galinda off of her, she decides to use Galinda's inebriation to her own advantage and finally get some answers to the questions she's been dying to ask, namely, why Galinda thinks Elphaba is so attractive. This should be an interesting night.





	Drunken Flirting

Elphaba had been curled happily up on her bed, just reading one of her favorite books, when the dorm door opened with a slam. The green girl groaned in annoyance. In just one bang, her quiet night in had just been destroyed.

"Heeeeeeeeeyyyyy, Elphie!" a family and high-pitched voice slurred. Elphaba looked up to see Galinda staggering on in.

"You've been drinking," Elphaba said. It wasn't a question, but Galinda nodded anyway. Elphaba groaned again.

"Lighten up Elphie!" Galinda moped playfully as she walked unsteadily over to Elphaba's bed. She plunked down on it, inches away from Elphaba.

"I believe your bed is over there," Elphaba drawled, gesturing to a pink and frilly bed a few feet away.

"But I like it here!" Galinda pouted. "This bed is cozier!" she trailed off, eyes glazing over. "Yeah, cozy, real cozy..." then she scooted closer to Elphaba until she was leaning awkwardly into the green girl's chest.

"Ummm, Galinda, please get off," Elphaba blushed darkly. Was Galinda trying to tell Elphaba something, or was it just drunken flirting?

"I already am," Galinda purred lowly, blue eyes darkening as she moved even closer to Elphaba. She gave the green girl a loopy smile.

"Ok. That's it!" Elphaba said sharply. She yanked away from Galinda, causing her to flop over.

"Hey!" Galinda complained, face now buried in Elphaba's pillow.

"Bed time, Galinda," Elphaba replied sternly. Then before she could protest, Elphaba picked her up and dropped her off into her own bed.

"You're no fun," Galinda whined as Elphaba tucked her in beneath all the pink blankets and sheets and pillows.

"Good night," Elphaba replied. This time, there was so much finality in her voice that even Galinda, dead drunk as she was, got the picture.

Once Galinda was finally, truly, asleep, Elphaba heaved a sigh. Galinda had freaked her out a little bit with all that drunken flirting and she didn't know how to respond to such a scenario. Was it real? Or was it just the alcohol? Elphaba wasn't sure. And she wasn't even sure what she wanted it to be! But after a few seconds of wondering, Elphaba suddenly got an idea.

"Hey, Galinda!" she whispered, approaching Galinda's bed again and gently prodding her sleeping roommate. She was going to use Galinda's drunkenness to her advantage and trick the girl into answering all her questions.

"Mmmpphhh," Galinda mumbled drunkenly.

"Can you hear me?" Elphaba coaxed, Galinda nodded and snored.

"Are you drunk?" Elphaba pressed.

"Don't know," Galinda slurred. Elphaba couldn't help but laugh at this remark.

"So who is this?" Galinda muttered. She was too drunk to recognize Elphaba's voice.

For a moment, Elphaba didn't know how to respond. Then another idea came to her.

"Ummmm, it's me... Pfanee!" she lied, forcing her voice to rise up nearly two octaves and to become obnoxiously nasally.

"Pfanee," Galinda slurred, seeming to accept Elphaba's little ruse, too drunk to realize what a voice impression it really was.

"Yes! Now tell me!" Elphaba gave a stupid little giggle as she forced her voice to lilt in a singsong-y way. "Are you in loooove with Ms. Elphaba?"

"Mmm-mmmh," can't tell Galinda replied, eyes still shut, but a small smile creeping across her face.

"Oh! Pretty please!" Elphaba begged, inwardly ripping her throat out for having to talk like this. "Tell me! Pretty please with sugar berries on top!"

"Can't tell," Galinda replied with a weird, drunk giggle.

"But I'm your friend," Elphaba continued. "You can tell me anything!"

For another moment, there was only silence, but right before Elphaba could wonder if Galinda had fallen asleep, she began to talk.

"Mmmkay," she slurred. "But you gotta promise not to tell anyone."

"Pinky promise!" Elphaba whispered urgently, voice accidently dropping back to its normal deep register. Galinda, luckily, didn't notice.

"Good," she grunted instead. Then she finally gave her answer. "Yes. I am. In love. With Elphaba. A lot. Very much."

"Really?" Elphaba asked again, voice dropping away in surprise for the second time in two seconds. Galinda finally grunted in suspicion.

"Pfanee?" she asked.

"Yes?!" Elphaba overcompensated and brought her voice up too much, but it alleviated any suspicion in Galinda's drunken mind.

"Promise me you won't laugh?" Galinda asked.

"Of course not!" Elphaba singsonged. "I just can't see what you see in such a weird and ugly girl!" she added, giggling a little bit, even though she absolutely hated to have to play the part of her own bully. But as she would soon come to see, so did Galinda.

"Pfanee!" Galinda snapped, head lolling over a bit. "Elphaba is not ugly! And she is not weird! She is perfect! And beautiful! And kind! And gentle! And strong! And brave! And smart! And determined! And generous!"

Yet another silence settled over the dorm as Elphaba tried to wrap her mind around all Galinda had just said.

"What do you mean?" she asked sincerely.

"She is just so brave and strong and she always stands up for what she believes in. And if you actually took the time to know her, you'd know that she can be really nice and gentle and caring, the way she looks out for the people she loves!" Galinda growled back, still obviously offended by "Pfanee's" harsh remarks about Elphaba. "She is so intelligent and she loves to learn and she makes it enjoyable! She sees all the wonder in the world that the rest of us sometimes take for granted, or forget. She is absolutely perfect to me! Oh! Pfanee! If only you would give her a chance!"

"She's green!" Elphaba retorted, momentarily, genuinely incredulous that Galinda really did think so high of her.

"Just like emeralds!" Galinda shot back. In that moment, then, Elphaba felt her heart melt.

Slowly, Elphaba brought her conversation with Galinda to a close, excusing herself back to her own bed. She fell asleep feeling just as drunk with happiness as Galinda was with alcohol. Maybe drunken flirting wasn't so bad after all!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: More Gelphie fluff, set to the ever-popular "drunk flirting" prompt.


End file.
